


Pickin up these bands, this guy has an onlyfans

by holtehyde



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: A slow burn if you actually look at the timeline, Camboy Hisoka yes please, M/M, Strangers to Lovers, accidental date, canon adjacent, sex worker Hisoka, technically Machi is a camgirl too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:07:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28600434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holtehyde/pseuds/holtehyde
Summary: Illumi busts Milluki for watching a camboy’s stream instead of working. But what happens when Illumi falls for the camboy in question?
Relationships: Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck
Comments: 7
Kudos: 36





	Pickin up these bands, this guy has an onlyfans

“Everyone say thank you @nowaifunolaifu69 for the 3000 jenny tip! Because you all get to see me stick a 10 inch dragon dildo up my ass.” Hisoka’s laugh rang through the speakers on Milluki’s computer.

There was a quick knock at his door. Milluki yelled in shock as his door opened and he tried to close out the tab as his older brother walked in.

“Milluki. Father has assigned you a mission, he wants it done today and told me to confiscate your computers.” Illumi started rambling before getting cut off by Hisoka’s loud moan from Milluki’s speakers. His eyes narrowed as he pushed Milluki aside and opened the minimized tab to see some porn star on the screen. He went silent for a few moments, “You will go on your mission and when you return this will have never happened. Got it?” He told Milluki who just nodded and rushed out to avoid his brother’s seeping bloodlust.

Illumi stared blankly at the performer on the screen and wrote down the web address. For “research” purposes obviously. Only research. Nothing else. What are you talking about? Speaking of this “research”,

“Hey guys welcome the newbie” Hisoka laughed on screen, the sound shot through Illumi’s earbuds. @wideeyedassassin? Edgelord much? Whatever welcome into the party, it’s drinking game night! Send in your questions and dares, we’re playing truth or dare right now.”

Illumi rolled his eyes as he typed on the screen. ‘Why don’t I drink with you? I bet I could outdrink you no problem.’ He sent his message and got up to grab some liquor from his cabinet downstairs.

“Drink with me? If you insist big boy, don’t quit on me” Hisoka’s voice came through the headphones.

Illumi almost laughed, that man was done for. He took a sip of some wine.

“@privatepiggy No I am not a virgin, but I can be your first time if you’d like” Hisoka’s smirk was almost audible in his tone.

Illumi choked. Wine almost shot out his mouth at the shock he was in. Shock, that’s not the right word. It’s the one he’s going with though. It’s not like the words Hisoka said just shot straight to his dick. Absolutely not.

Illumi took another sip of his wine and started typing, ‘What’s it take to see you naked?’. He was riding on interest and a bit of arousal. But of course, he blamed it on the alcohol he had barely drunk and sent a tip of 4000 jenny.

“Bold tonight huh? Well lemme let you in on something all my regulars know newbie, I do nude streams every once in a while. you just gotta join at the right time. Thanks for the 4k by the way, I’ll drink to that” Hisoka took a shot. “Too bad I don’t have anyone to do body shots with right now..wait hold on.” He grabbed a phone from off screen and seemed to press a few buttons. Soon after, a ringing could be heard from another room, and then yelling.

“Hisoka you little shit what do you want at this hour?” a woman’s voice from right offscreen interrupts.

“Machiii~ Come drink with me, my viewers want body shots!”

“You just wanna stick your face in my tits Hisoka” He grinned, she sighed. “Yeah yeah lemme get dressed”

Hisoka turned back to the camera with a smug smile. “Machi will be right with us! Any questions or requests you all want to get out of the way before she comes in?”

Illumi’s focus faded a bit as he continued to watch Hisoka’s stream and drink his tension (lust) away.

A knock sounded at his door. “Illumi- Illumi you there?” Milluki’s voice shocked Illumi back to reality. Milluki opened the door to a dazed Illumi. Who was surrounded by half empty liquor bottles and had Hisoka’s stream pulled up on a laptop. “Hey Illumi, can I have my laptop back?”

Illumi glared at his younger brother. “Did you finish your job?”

“Yes I did”

“Fine” Illumi logged out of his account on Milluki’s computer and handed him the laptop. “Do your work on time next time”

“Yeah yeah got it Mr drunk and horny” Milluki closed the door behind him and walked back to his room.

After 6 months, upwards of 100 streams and an ungodly amount of jenny spent. The day came that Illumi got a message on his watcher account.

@sexysexysoka: “@wideeyedassassin, Hey! Thanks for that donation last night it really blew everyone out of the water huh? （⌒▽⌒）I hope you had a fun time! I know I did”

Illumi blinked slowly. This can’t be real. Is it? How is he supposed to reply to this?

@wideeyedassassin: “@sexysexysoka 08-17-XXXX, Dropdip Bar, 7pm”

Shit that’s not how you’re supposed to do it is it? Oh well it’s not like he’ll reply.

Hisoka scrunched his face. What? Is this a date? Oh well guess he can play along. This guy does drop thousands on him each stream.

@sexysexysoka: “@wideeyedassassin, As long as you’re paying sweetheart <3”

Illumi’s eyes shot open. WAIT shit. Did he just ask this man on a date? DID THIS ABSOLUTE SEX GOD OF A MAN JUST AGREE TO GO ON A DATE WITH HIM?

Holy fuck.


End file.
